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“There’s no way you’re getting out of this life alive, so don’t take it too seriously.”
“This world needs more brilliant people with humility. There are so few of us left.”
“Try not to overwhelm yourself with worries and problems. Trust me, you’re going to die anyway.”
“Try not trip over what is behind you.”
“When life gives you lemons, find the person whose life has given them vodka. Mix both together and party like hell!”
“Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, the day becomes brighter and more beautiful.”
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.”
“Money isn’t really important. Love is more important. Coincidentally, I love money too.”
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“Eagles may be able to soar high, but chickens never get caught in airplane engines.”
“I learn from each and every mistake I make. That’s why I’m certain that I can repeat them exactly the next time I commit them.”
“When life pushes you down, roll along the ground, relax, and look at the stars.”
“Winning isn’t everything, but losing isn’t anything.”
“You’re one big pile of glorious mess. Embrace what you are!”
“Lesser men have done greater things.”
“Make yesterday jealous by making today super impressive!”
“Whenever I’m sad, I do my best to stop being sad and decide to be awesome instead.”
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“Being an adult is just knowing how to google things up.”
“Everyone should be thankful that I’m not addicted to drugs.”
“You don’t have to pray to God for a bike. Just steal one and confess your sins for absolution later.”
“There’s no need for you to remember everything. Just tell the truth and you’ll never experience a memory lapse again.”
“Someone told me that my mind lives in a fantasy world. Unbelievable, right? I almost fell off my dragon!”
“The truth will definitely piss you off. But, it will also set you free.”
“They say good things take time. It’s probably the reason why I’m always late.”
“While it’s true that hard work never killed anyone, why take the chance?”
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“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
“You don’t need to be so humble because you’re not that awesome.”
“I don’t worry about money because I’ve got plenty to last me a lifetime if I die tomorrow.”
“It’s a given that life is hard. But, it’s even harder if you’re stupid.”
“Living a healthy lifestyle is merely the slowest possible way to die.”
“Make it your goal to reach the ripe age of 100. It’s a known fact that very few people die beyond that point.”
“One of the most satisfying things in life is being able to do what people say you can’t do.”
“Being drunk around the clock is actually a hard feat. Well, if drinking was that simple and effortless, everyone would do it.”
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“If you refuse to do anything, then you’ll never make a mistake.”
“Do what other people don’t want to do today so that tomorrow you can do what other people can’t.”
“If you’re going to live the next few years anyway, you might as well make the most out of them.”
“You will be dead for time infinity, so make your life worth it.”
“Who cares if a ship is safe in a harbor? That’s not what ships are for.”
“To err is human; to admit it, on the other hand, is superhuman.”
“Money isn’t really important. Love is more important. Coincidentally, I love money too.”
“A smile confuses an approaching frown.”
“A super computer might be able to beat you at chess, but there’s a good chance it will never beat you in boxing.”
“Get your sh*t together right now! It’s never too late for you.”
“Be very forgiving when it comes to your enemies. It annoys them so much!”
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